The one subject I typically see other relationship experts fail to recognize is the feeling of vulnerability that one experiences when he or she is dating. Because of my background as a masters prepared social worker and my past experience working with vulnerable populations, it does not escape me that vulnerability plays a huge role in whether or not you will have success. I mean, who wants to risk emotional exposure?
Below are some ways you can embrace vulnerability while moving through the process of relationship building to ultimately have success.
Believe you are worthy of being loved. Thoughts become things, and words become fresh, commit that to memory. If you continue to believe you are not worthy of love, you are working towards a selffulfilling prophecy. All too often we hold on to self-limiting beliefs, especially around love and romance. Replace those thoughts with “I am worthy” and talk yourself into the relationship you desire and deserve.
Don’t worry about being perfect. With all of the outside influences bombarding us today, it’s a wonder anyone has the courage to be real. I think we are all concerned with exposing our imperfections. This plays into everything from our body image, to personal accomplishments and more. Be courageous and let go of the false narrative that your success lies in perfection. It’s our imperfections that make us more relatable, more human and more loveable.
Don’t let fear undermine your happiness. As difficult as it may seem, lean into the fear. Fear can be painful, but fear is necessary and healthy. When facing fear head on, we are forced to step out of our comfort zone and stretch ourselves in ways we never thought possible. This is true even in our search for love. I’ve worked with enough people to realize that being emotionally exposed is scary. You will feel uncomfortable, but the harder you hold onto the fear and allow it to dictate your journey the greater the chance it will undermine your happiness.
Be open. Part of our journey to love is creating the vision of what might be. We often put a face to the faceless and try to deƂne the unknown. Sometimes that’s wonderful because it helps us remain focused. However, sometimes we become so bound to the vision that we subconsciously force ourselves to be closed off to other possibilities. I am often asked, “How do you know when someone is going to have success and find love?” My answer is: my most successful client, is the client who isn’t tethered to a vision that might be limiting; it’s the client who is open to embracing the possibilities of what might be.
I trust you’ve found these points insightful and they give you hope. Although relationship building is hard, it is possible in the face of vulnerability. That said, I am sending you a virtual hug and strength as you move forward on your path of love.