I love online dating! You read that right. I love online dating and I think it’s a fabulous way to find a relationship. Surprised? Most people are, but then I explain how 20% of relationships today start online. In addition to personally introducing people as a matchmaker, I date coach mature singles every day so they can navigate the online dating world. I’ve learned many lessons when it comes to online dating that help ensure success for my clients.
I go online every day with my coaching clients and have found a myriad of mistakes people make when using dating sites. Investing a little time online can land you a loving, committed relationship. It’s really quite simple. That said, I would like to share with you my 10 Commandments of online dating. My clients must learn them, and adhere to them during the coaching process with me
1. Thou Shall Not Post a Selfie
Did you know that your photos determine 90% of your success online? Well, they do. The absolute worst thing I see online are those selfies taken in the bathroom or bedroom mirror. Oy! The lighting is terrible. There is too much flash and I can never see the face. I can go on and on. Please invest in some professional photos for goodness’ sake. I promise you will see a marked difference in the quality of women you attract.
2. Thou Shalt Not Send a Wink
I mean, you can if you want, but you will certainly get a better response if you send an email. Take the time to read her profile, then reach out with an email identifying some points that stand out to you. It shows that you took the time to find out about her and that you are taking your search seriously
3. Thou Shalt Not Reveal Too
Much Personal Information No one needs to know about your diabetes or how you’ve been on Match before and had a terrible experience with it. Try to be as positive as possible and don’t be a Depressing Dan! Keep the personal information private; there will be more than enough time to tell all.
4. Thou Shalt Not Lie
Listen, if you are hoping to have many bad first dates, go ahead and lie, but I wouldn’t recommend it. Trust me, there is a lovely woman out there who will accept you for you, warts and all. Be authentic and genuine. The results will speak for themselves.
5. Thou Shalt Not Ask To Speak Outside of the Site Too Soon
I really can’t figure out why this happens, but it happens all the time. The site is designed for you to correspond and to get to know each other. My advice is don’t ask the ladies to correspond with you off the site. Stay on the site and communicate there. It actually turns many women off and creeps them out.
6. Thou Shalt Not Become Email Buddies
I know it can be stressful. All the pressure seems to be on you to initiate and court. That said, you must remember the goal of a dating site is to get an actual date. There is a great opportunity to meet a compatible partner online, but that won’t happen if you get stuck in the trap of endless emailing.
7. Thou Shalt Not Retaliate if Rejected
If she “rejects” you, cut your losses and move on. She really doesn’t know you anyway. There is no reason to write a nasty email or worse yet, ask why she doesn’t feel you are a fit. The pool is big enough. Throw that line back in and see who’s out there. Move on!
8. Thou Shalt Not Wait
to Ask for a Date You’ve emailed several times, found out her name and what she does for a living. So now what? Ask her out, darn it! What are you waiting for? If she wasn’t interested, she wouldn’t have invested time corresponding with you. The only way to gauge compatibility is to get to the actual date.
9. Thou Shalt Not Use Texting as a Main Form of Communication
This is a biggie for me. You’ve asked her if you can call. She gives you her cell number and a window of time in which to call—but all you do is text! Why can’t you pull the trigger and call her? Again, she has invested time in you and is waiting for your call.
10. Thou Shalt Not Leave a Blank or Half-Completed Profile
You should look at your online profile like a resume. Would you apply to a job with an incomplete resume? I don’t think so. When you leave your profile blank, it says that you don’t care. It says that you are not investing yourself in any way and you are not serious. I am sure there are wonderful women passing by your profile (at my suggestion) because the message is clear that you just don’t care.
If you haven’t given online dating a chance, I would encourage you to give it a try. Be sure to commit the commandments to memory and apply them when going online. Remember that you must market yourself effectively. It’s as simple as having the right pictures, the right profile and the right communication. Now, go forth, market yourself and get that date.