So, here’s the rub. I represent men for matchmaking and I relationship-mentor women. Everyday, women share examples of how (some) men sabotage potential relationships with negative behaviors. Some negative behaviors are more common than others… I suspect, you would never engage in self sabotaging negative behaviors, but just in case, let me cover the behaviors which will ensure your dating success in 2016.
Take things slowly:
Too much, too soon is the biggest red flag I see. If you want to win her heart and not scare her away, pace yourself. It’s wonderful when you plan a date, but certainly don’t plan to move in together on the 6th date. It’s appropriate to talk about the future, but not the rest of your lives together. If you really found someone who is a keeper, take things slowly. If it’s meant to be she is not going to find someone else to replace you.
Build Communication:
Yes, it takes two, but if you want to be a better date in 2016 STOP TEXTING so much! Pick up the darn phone and call her! Texting creates a false sense of intimacy allowing you to believe the relationship is much more than it is, and there could be loss of tone or intent, which can really mess with growing a cohesive relationship. It doesn’t take much to call, and doing so will set you apart from all the other single men out there.
Be Interested:
I get it, you meet someone new and your heart is all a flutter. She’s everything you’ve been looking for and more. Your intention is to connect with her by sharing personal information, and that’s great! However, it’s really not all about you. The best way to grow intimacy is sharing, but it should be reciprocal. Asking about who she is and what her hopes and dreams are will help you determine if she is the fit for you, while making her feel special too.
Be Appropriate:
Oh no you did not! I am sorry, but sexting is a big no-no, especially in the early stages of getting to know her. Yes, I’ve have had many women tell me (and show me) the inappropriate photos men have sent. Then they ask me “why would they do this Julianne?” Goodness gracious, you may have your reasons, but let me tell you… It’s not a good one; so don’t do it! Be thoughtful and treat her with respect at all times. Honestly, it makes a quality woman feel cheap and as if you view her that way.
Be Thoughtful:
It could be remembering her favorite latte or favorite flavor of ice cream. It could also be something as simple as opening the car door, but by making small thoughtful gestures it says she is important to you and you are investing in the relationship. Quality women notice these types of behavior and appreciate them. They also bring her closer to you and make you a great date!
It’s very simple really: the biggest expectation women have is that you treat her like a lady and don’t come on like gangbusters. A quality woman wants a quality man, someone thoughtful, who communicates clearly. 2016 can be your year. The year to find someone wonderful if you just approach it seriously and apply the aforementioned points. Wishing you a wonderful New Year with much love!